An example of a relationship that started online and eventually left virtuality is my own. This came about because of an online role-playing game called Aspereta. It is while playing this game that I met another character, let’s call him Tom, who I instantly formed a connection with and we quickly became ‘online friends’. We enjoyed each others company while playing and often had a lot to talk about since we had many shared interests. For example we both enjoy designing and creating characters, items, and monsters for these online games. My brother who also played Aspereta met Tom and they too got along extremely well. The three of us often arranged online meeting times so that we could all play Aspereta together.
As we all maintained our friendship over an extended period of time we came to learn that we both lived in the same state, the same city, and frequented many of the same places. After time had passed we decided to meet face-to-face. My brother and I decided on the location, a mall, and we all planned a convenient time. I had seen his picture and he had seen mine and so it was not hard to spot each other. For all our closeness online I didn’t know what to expect in this new environment and was happy to find that only after a few moments of awkwardness we were soon browsing through the mall and chatting like old friends.
This positive experience of leaving virtuality, modality switching from Computer-Mediated Communication to Face-to-Face can be explained by the Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT). URT from Berger and Calabrese states that “the uncertainty reduction process leads to affinity or attraction” (Class, Slide 36, 11/21). More simply this theory states that when one has increased information about their partner, thus decreasing uncertainty, it leads to increased liking and intimacy. The friendship between Tom and me only strengthened after our meeting face-to-face and I believe that this is because I was able to learn more about him through a physical relationship. I gained more information about him from our encounter like his gestures, unconscious habits, and other little things that became apparent from this form of communication. Another reason that this experience was positive is that Tom was very honest to me about himself during our online communications and so when I met him offline there was nothing about him that shocked or disappointed me.
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4 comments:
Lauren,
Interesting post: I've never heard of Aspereta before, and it was nice to read your example(s) because they were thought out very nicely. I wonder if you and your friend are still close? And did Aspereta allow you to further your online relationship? This would be something to look into..
I liked reading your part about URT. It was right on, and you made good reference to class slides: "URT from Berger and Calabrese states that “the uncertainty reduction process leads to affinity or attraction” (Class, Slide 36, 11/21)."
Overall, I enjoyed reading your post, as it was insightful but logical at the same time.
Great post! I’m glad you had a positive experience with meeting someone online. I've heard too many stories where close ties and friendships fizzled away because of differentiating factors. However, you lucked out and met a friend for not just you, but your brother as well. Just as you said, face to face settings provide more information and nonverbal cues that are absent from online settings. URT states that once a person leaves virtuality, because of the increased cues available, people will thus have even more in common. Being honest from the beginning and presenting your true personality to others in CMC will make the FtF transition much easier. Again great job.
Hey Lauren,
Your post reminded me of the unit we did on online dating websites, since you said your friend was very honest with you in your online communications. Once you discover someone is within physical proximity to you, I think it changes things in an online relationship. The possibility of a future meeting means that it is more difficult to lie. To think of it more positively though, when you know that there may be an opportunity to extend your friendship to the face to face world, you may be more likely to open up and share information. It also seems that even one face to face meeting can greatly reduce the uncertainty between two people. As you said, within a few minutes you had learned about things such as Tom’s gestures and unconscious habits that you would never have learned in the online space, no matter how long you had known him. Nice Post!
Lauren,
Great use of URT. Pretty interesting how you met this Tim character- that is, through a gaming environment. How do you compare meeting someone via gaming as opposed to perhaps facebook? What were some barriers who encountered? Also, I loved how you make a reference to class slides; very great incorporation of theory in Berger and Calabrese's text and class lecture. Great job Lauren! Very logical and insightful as David pointed earlier. =)
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