A5.1 There's Something About CMC

It’s easy to imagine teammates in an online capture-the-flag game becoming close friends, but can a CMC environment sustain the highest pinnacle of all relationships? A romantic relationship requires a great amount of intimacy, of trust, of attraction, and the dynamics of such an online relationship differ greatly from real life. In terms of Wallace’s attraction factors, I aim to analyze a long distance relationship: my own.

Wallace’s first attraction factor states that in CMC, two people get to know each other before they ever see each other, while most relationships made in person are initially based on physical attraction. As we have known each other since high school, my girlfriend and I were friends attracted to each other prior to any online communication, and so our relationship, despite where it is now, started with more physical attraction than any sort of familiarity. Same applies for the common ground factor; since we knew each other in real life, any of our impressions of each other were categorical, not conversational. Regardless, we actually share only a handful of interests and opinions, and we were born and raised in different countries with differing cultures and customs. Although Wallace predicts that our proportionally small amount of mutual interests and beliefs should be a restricting factor, our flexibility allows us to be the exception to the law of attraction and instead allows us to use this opportunity to learn from each other.

Nor were we lacking things to learn and situations to adjust to. In our high school years, we would see our classmates on a daily basis (for better or worse), especially since our graduating class numbered to less than a hundred. Once college came around, though, our two hours a day of face-to-face time became a few days every two months. No relationship can thrive without regular contact, what Wallace called “proximity.” To compensate, we sent e-mails back and forth, left short notes over our Facebook walls, instant messaged each other while we studied at night. Despite the considerable distance between us, the bane of many a long-distance relationship (see http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=50+mile+rule), our virtual proximity toward each other became closer and closer.

The greatest boon, however, stemmed from the reduction of inhibitions when talking online. Whether I happen to be the silent brooder in the group, or whether it’ll take a vicious blow from a pillow to shut me up, I rarely say much about myself in person. At least, that’s how it was until I began to talk more online with my girlfriend. Although it was a bit more disorienting for her, I found it very easy to communicate without having to worry about my facial expressions or my posture, and instead, I focused on what we had to say to each other. Communication, as cliché as it sounds, is easily the largest factor in any relationship, and the disinhibition of CMC helps that along rather well. In short, Wallace’s factors play an important role in making CMC, no matter how unusual it may be, a strong medium for a relationship.