Hey everybody! My name is Rachel Ullman, and I’m a Communications major with every intention of double majoring in AEM (I’m applying at the end of the semester). I was born in
While there are many online social phenomena that are utterly baffling to me, the appeal of internet dating is definitely at the top of my list. I understand that it can be difficult for women and men alike to meet new people that they actually have chemistry with, but why use the internet to alleviate this stress? Whatever happened to traditional dating? The internet is famed for the degree of anonymity a person can take while using it. People can so easily falsify their identity. How does the internet creates such a zone of comfort for people to share so much personal information with complete strangers? Why then, do sites like E-Harmony and Match.com have such a following? How can strangers all come together in an attempt to find “the one” when obviously, many of them are lying about their true identities? How can people fall in love with possible pseudo-identities just by conversing through chat rooms, email, and instant messaging? For arguments sake, lets say that two people are being completely truthful when they converse online; the fact remains that these two people have never met before. How can people base a whole relationship online without ever meeting each other? Anyway, I’m ranting, but the point is, I don’t get how people can “date” online.
Internet dating would best fit into the online environment of the asynchronous discussion forum. People will post their profiles jam-packed with information (possibly) about themselves, with pictures and facts. Their profiles are left up, and people can choose to respond to it or not. While certain online dating sites have restrictions (membership, for instance), people that have access to an account can communicate with whoever posted the profile, but often not in real time.
4 comments:
I think internet dating is a pretty fascinating topic as well for many of the same reasons. It doesnt seem likely or possible to to find a soul mate by searching e.harmony's database. In many ways it seems these sites have turned dating into a research project. Nobody wants to think of falling in love as an assignment, or task. Which in some ways it is in the online dating world, where it is common to rifle through profiles making mental notes about which candidates are suitable and then testing your theory out by meeting them in person. There are also unforseen variables including being deceived by your date. (turns out he's not a 6'2, tall dark and handsome cardiologist.) However, i think in a lot of ways love is not the fairy tale we wish it could be. I think especially for people who are less social than others and more introverted, online dating can seem less intimidating than going out to bars to meet people. Also, if profiles are correct, you can get a sense of who the person is before you even meet them, having a chance to weed out people who are not right for you. I also think online dating can be great not only for those who shy away from the social scene, but also for older people as well, perhaps people who have been divorced and are hesitant to jump back into the dating world. The way our society is progressing technologically i think there is a good chance that in the future, online dating will evolve to be more socially accepted and less taboo, perhaps even the norm. For right now, I think online dating is not for everyone, and it certainly has its drawbacks, but i think it can be a positive experience for the right type of person.
Rachel,
I think your concerns and thoughts with internet dating are very valid, as well as truthful. I also do not believe that people can get to know one-another based on internet 'connections.' Yet, if these people, after interacting for some time, were to physically meet and interact on the same personal level, I do believe the internet and site such as e-harmony should receive credit for putting two people together.
Other points to consider include anonymity and immense lying that takes place online. Lying not only about physical characteristics, but previous experiences, interests, or hobbies are things I would imagine people would lie about. How do we trust such people online? Should lie detecting software be installed to computers, if this is even possible? Just a few questions to consider and ponder..
Overall, I enjoyed your post, thought it was well thought-out and hope to keep reading more in the future.
It was interesting to read the questions that you raise about online dating. You are right that people on these sights may falsify identities or have hidden agendas when trying to meet people on the site. These are questions that I too have grappled with. However, I too can think of situations where online dating is an incredible asset. First, in today’s society people are incredibly busy. Many don’t have the time to go out to bars or meet people at social events, and the Internet may be an attractive option. Others may be shy or afraid to approach a stranger in a setting that they aren’t comfortable with. In addition, I have to agree that there is an incredible efficiency to being able to view someone’s “profile” before taking the time out of one’s schedule to go out on a date. A final issue to think about is the fact that one can too falsify his/her identity when meeting someone in a face-to-face situation. Although one cannot lie about their appearance necessarily, they can certainly “lie” about their background, interests, social life, etc. There is no way to totally protect yourself against deception in any situation, so when it comes down to it we need to have a basic trust in other human beings.
Hey Rachel! I completely agree with you that internet dating is very strange. I find it hard to believe that people can really connect at a deep level without actually meeting each other. However, you make a point that people lie in their online dating profiles on sites like eHarmony and match.com. Since these sites are paid subscription sites, I believe (although I am not sure) that there is some sort of safeguard against this. Especially since these sites aim to set up real face to face interactions, I don’t think people can lie too much since they actually meet each other. In addition to online dating being part of asynchronous discussion forums, communication directly would be part of synchronous chat.
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