Weeks ago I received a random friend request from a fellow junior at Cornell. Thinking nothing of it at the time I decided to accept. "The more facebook friends the better, right?," I thought to myself. I never questioned this oddity until this assignment was given. Why would a stranger befriend me, Ashley Downs, the girl on Facebook with the LEAST interesting profile?! And why would I accept him, Mr. Popular, the guy on Facebook with the MOST interesting profile? It was a puzzle in and of itself that led to an interesting investigation.
With his AIM screen name posted on his profile I decided to act bold. I signed online, IMing him immediately. He was incredibly kind and took to my questions well. Just 5 minutes into the conversation however our demonstration of the hyperpersonal model seemed evident. I tried to present myself positively with each question asked and I believe he did too. Thoughtfully taking the time to provide witty banter with each response the conversation moved along slow. Rather than typing quick replies we each sought to showcase (the best) pieces of ourselves.
We spoke for about two hours. As the conversation progressed I found the level of openness increasing and the level of formality decreasing. Originally seeing the Hyperpersonal Model supported I concluded by seeing the Cues Filtered Out Perspective. We seemed to connect quite well as we each welcomed uninhibited behavior. Lame stories were shared coupled with inappropriate jokes. Throughout the discussion we became more extroverted as our guards vanished.
I have never been the type to randomly speak with a stranger but I thoroughly enjoyed the anonymity of this discussion. Though the Social Identity Deindividuation Effect (SIDE) infers that our words would become increasingly similar over time I found the opposite to happen. As we became more comfortable with eachother we found it easier to act as individuals. I provided the lame stories and he provided the inappropriate jokes. He would make it a point to tell me how awful my stories were and I reciprocated with his terrible jokes. There was no accord. But it was refreshing.
I tend to be a pushover more often than not; I constantly agree to the demands of others to avoid confrontation. Deep down however I possess a fiery side that enjoys sarcasm and neuroticism. During the discussion with my newly formed friend I found it easier to showcase this side. Ultimately, in the end, the Cues Filtered Out Perspective seems to be most appropriate.
Oh, and for all those wondering, he befriended me because we're both in the group "Bob Dylan is the Man." Oh, Facebook. The connections you create are countless.
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4 comments:
Just a little addition to my post: I spoke with my friend again on AIM tonight. If this keeps up, if we continue to speak over an extended period of time, the theory best supported may become the Social Information Processing Theory. Perhaps if my impressions change, so too will the theory by which it is identified.
Ashely-
After reading your post, and with a few good laughs in between, I can tell you that I have been in a similar situation to what you described, but on the other end. I was the one being IM'd, and this person actually turns out to be one of my best friends to date. Yes, Facebook is quite an entity. I'd like to comment on your analysis of the situation you presented. It was very well thought out and right on: I could definitely see how the CFO perspective would take place as you would be talking for such a long time; over time, disadvantages of not having cues would diminish as subjects got more familiar with each other. This is certainly what happened in this situation. Your analysis of SIDE goes along with what I felt would happen in the type of situation you were placed in; as time moved forward, conversing would become less awkward and more personalized for each other. Overall, I enjoyed reading your post, think that your analysis/comments are accurate, and it is written very well.
The more I use Facebook and AIM to meet and get to know people, the more I can identify with your experience. It seems to me that people use the anonymity of the internet to try out being the person they wish they were. Most of us would like to be more outgoing or wittier, and CMC gives us the opportunity. I've noticed many people's posts agreeing with the hyperpersonal model because their impressions are more extreme. It may not only be our impressions that are more extreme, but also the way the other person acts.
Since we know we have a safety blanket of anonymity, we may be more likely to share things online and listen to others opinions, which would give us more perceived openness. The result of this is presenting ourselves as the “ideal self” more than the “actual self”. The internet gets lots of bad press for all the bad things that happen through online connections, but hopefully people are using it to ease themselves into becoming their own “ideal self”.
Ashley-
It's very interesting that as the conversation progressed, you saw different theories come into play. A 2 hour conversation is definitely a good way to get a strong impression of someone. Though, in my experience when looking back over such a conversation, it seems much shorter given the pauses between messages and the limitations of online discussions. You make a particularly interesting point in mentioning how the opposite of SIDE seemed to happen. Also you talked about how the two of you fell into sort of "roles" with the stories and joke, and that could be part of the behavioral confirmation in the Hyperpersonal Model.
-Elliot
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